I am hurt right now and need some TLC. I need some reassurance that I am a good person and that I am doing the right thing even though I have 2 teenagers that insist that I am evil and am completely wrong.
I can love without caving in.
How? If I feel empathetic towards another person then I feel obligated to fix their pain. It is not my job to fix anyone’s pain, even if I have enforced a consequence that they don’t like. They are going to come after me because if they can change the rules of the game then they will get out of the consequence. The rules cannot change easily. They cannot be changed on the spur of the moment. For a rule to change it would take prayerful consideration and counseling with my husband.
I am feeling so bad right now because I keep questioning the rules. I keep thinking that surely I could adapt the rules just a little bit to make them more palatable. It is not my job to make the rules palatable. It is my job to Enforce the Rules, Enforce the Consequences, and Stay Calm. Right now my husband and I have decided on a set of rules and we will enforce them. The girls are feeling the pain of the consequences and are angry and resentful. That is to be expected. I can empathize that they are feeling pain and don’t like it. I can empathize that they feel that the rules are unfair and that they have just cause to question them. I can understand that they believe that they are in the right and that they are just asserting their rights by disobeying us.
Children have very few rights for a reason. “A child cannot mold his character alone. His innate self-serving nature is too strongly embedded. It takes patient, purposeful parent leadership to help a child develop respect for others and a desire to serve.” John Rosemond.
The girls’ basic rights are not being violated.
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